Following the recent success of appointment-making platform Edeficiency, East administration has announced the release of a new online platform, Megaficiency.
Megaficiency not only includes the features of e-hallpass and Edeficiency, like tracking bathroom time and making appointments with teachers, but this new platform introduces never-before-seen, ground-breaking technology.
What Megaficiency brings to the table is its new feature of tracking students’ walking speed. When a student surpasses the maximum walking speed of seven miles per hour, the platform will alert the nearest school resource officer. Upon the first speeding offense, the student will receive a warning, the second offense the student will be ticketed with a $100 fine, and after the third time, the school has the right to sue the student.
Assistant Principal Brandon Patterson expressed his content with the school’s introduction of the new platform.
“This update of Edeficiency to Megaficiency is exactly what this school needs… we’ve had many incidents of students speeding in the hallways and it’s becoming not only a safety concern, but a traffic violation.”
Junior Linda McArthur also noted how before Megaficiency was introduced, she found the hallways as a “place that fosters violence,” and due to a fatal speeding incident that occurred last year, she has since lost the ability to see shades of Kelly green, Irish green and Heather Irish green in her left eye. But now McArthur is proud to say that she’s glad “the platform will finally hold kids accountable for their destructive actions.”
Megaficiency is also set to release an update at the end of this year which tracks the phase of the moon and posts horoscopes for the platform’s users.
“I’m not sure what this platform is going to really help students with. It just feels like they’re just making random things up at this point,” said senior Shamelius Hill.
Despite some confusion from the student body, Patterson assures that this platform will not only “make life easier to navigate,” but also “boost student morale and engagement.”
Due to the recent implementation of Megaficiency, there’s no saying how it will affect students and faculty in the future, but as of now, East seems to be furthering its regulations with online platforms.
Image credits: Avery Tortora/The ECHO
