To: Anyone who has ever heard of East Chapel Hill High School, thinks they may have heard of it, or has not heard of it
We must inform you of a very important development that is near and dear to the collective heart of our Wildcat community. Our staff, teachers, students, parents, pets, imaginary friends and other stakeholders have all worked together to effect this radical shift in our school climate.
This endeavour was many years in the making. From the groundskeepers to the administration, from parents to students, this has been an incredibly momentous effort on all levels. It represents the culmination of all our hard work and thus the dawning of a new era.
Our Wildcat community has done what was needed. We have invested untold amounts of labor and toil in this project. Now it is the time that we enjoy the dividends of our striving.
This action will fill our students’ capacity for social and emotional learning to the brim. It will single-handedly beautify our school, close the achievement gap and make us the best high school in the United States—nay, the world. All the other problems will be solved summarily after the next 110,000 meetings.
Please pause and observe a moment of silence before you become enlightened with knowledge of the greatest thing ever to happen in the history of East Chapel Hill High School:
We have slightly trimmed a few blades of grass near Quad C.
Most sincerely, earnestly, and heartfeltly,
East Chapel Hill High School
Go Wildcats!
