Dear East Chapel Hill,
Here at the ECHO, we pride ourselves on the innovation we’ve made in the field of complaining, and yet, we are sad to announce that the East Chapel Hill Observer has finally run out of complaints with East.
Sure, we could make another “witty” satire about e-hallpass or get one of our reporters to churn out another column about how bad the bathrooms are. However, we value the art of complaining too much to do such a thing.
We understand that complaining is the heart and soul of East, and are hoping that the public will be valiant enough to carry the torch going forward. We get that this decision will be hard on the people of East, but we encourage you to keep the spirit of complaining alive.
Though this announcement is a hard one to make, it’s far from the end. The ECHO will still make sure to deliver you “Breaking Complaints™” the moment they happen. While the things to moan about have run dry, we will stay vigilant to make sure no future ones slip past us.
Additionally, we at the ECHO are proud to announce a new service to help us help you; the Official ECHO Complaint Department. Now, you can help contribute to school spirit by signing up for one of our many paid jobs, such as bathroom wrecker, e-hallpass spammer, annoying hall monitor and lunch vaper. Note that we embrace flexibility here, and are open to alternate ways of opening up complaints, so if you think you have what it takes, sign up at <Hammond pls add link here>.
We hope that all of you at East Chapel Hill are pleased with this announcement, or at the very least, annoyed enough to complain about them.
Sincerely, the ECHO
Photo by Hammond Cole Sherouse/The ECHO
