As a New Yorker, I love everything bagels. But I don’t love everything bagel seasoning. It doesn’t have the same je ne sais quoi. Maybe, just maybe, simple and perfect things don’t need to be meddled with.
I have no hate for Trader Joe’s, but their “Everything But The Bagel Seasoning Blend” is the root of this problem. I wish their intent was to have this seasoning sprinkled on a plain bagel with plain cream cheese to produce the same concept as an everything bagel, but it pains me to realize they want everything to taste like an everything bagel.
Trader Joe’s is just the fodder in the much larger conflagration that is the millennial epidemic of specialty seasonings. Every autumn, we’re able to fall back onto the timeless flavor of pumpkin spice. There’s a certain joy in seeing the shelves of Trader Joe’s become stocked full of pumpkin spice pancake mixes, cookies, pies and soups. We can leave the store, and rest assured the nearby Starbucks will have pumpkin spice lattes. At what point is this all too much?
My answer: When things like hummus and cream cheese are covered in these otherwise pleasant flavors. It gets even worse than flavored spreads when it comes to everything bagel seasoning. I tried everything bagel sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and Jeni’s everything bagel ice cream. Clearly, one unfortunate everything bagel flavored food failed to convince me.
I really did want to enjoy both of those desserts (or are they more akin to breakfasts?). I impulsively assumed they would perfectly blend sweet and salty, but some combinations are not meant to be. I implore the people of the world to take a step back and reflect on why you pretend these flavors always work–they don’t.
Photo courtesy of Trader Joe’s
