A new year brings around an entirely new person, a clean slate, a full personality shift. I am pleased to announce that I will be commemorating the end of 2019 by cutting off all you fakes. As Drake once said, I have “a lot of people trying to drain me of my energy.”
Thus, here is my mantra for 2020 in a conveniently bulleted format:
- If you aren’t lifting me up, you’re holding me down.
- Life is a party, y’all know what that means. $8 guys $5 girls (unless u cute) entry fee to my life.
- “No more joking around, it’s grind season and the grind NEVER stops. Ever. This is the student athlete life.”
- BYOV (bring your own vibe) or you’ll get vibe-checked out of my life
- 2020 is a clean slate, the past is in the past. If you saw me stealing ketamine from the medical section of the zoo, it was the past me. This is new me time, and since I am a completely different person, I cannot be held for past me’s actions.
- A note to snakes: stay in 2019. If you slither your way into my 2020 you’ll get stepped on.
For this new year, I’ve got 2020 vision, and all I can see is the path ahead.
By Zoe Hiemstra and Eva Buckner