A Coronavirus Survival Guide

2020 has been a challenging year so far, but the biggest challenge facing the world right now is probably the coronavirus. This fast spreading virus has many people worried, but don’t worry, the ECHO is both here and qualified to help.

First survival tip: Disregard your friends and family; they’re just going to hold you back. When the coronavirus comes for us, you don’t need your annoying friends slowing you down. When it comes down to it, you can make new friends with the survivors, if there are any.

Second tip: Get some kind of air filter. It can be a gas mask, respirator or, if you’re really desperate, a plastic bag with some holes poked in it. All the food will have been taken from the grocery stores, but the plastic bags will probably still be there. Feel free to layer up with the bags, that’s just more protection for you. If you’re super scared, don’t even poke holes in the bag, better safe than sorry.

Third tip: Get as many vaccines as possible. You gotta get vaxxed up, and anything helps. Society will have collapsed and you never know when you’ll get tetanus, or the flu, or maybe even the bubonic plague. The health clinics and hospitals, much like the grocery stores, will have already been cleaned out, so what you want to do is get creative with where you scavenge. I recommend looking in hospital trash cans, bathrooms and maybe alleyways if you need to. Stick any needle you find in yourself. Some of the vaccines may still be in there, and you need to take what you can get.

At the end of the day, what matters is that you survive, and when it comes down to it, sometimes you need to get a little dirty and a little infectious to get what you want.

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