The POTUS Donald Trump has not said anything on any platform, most notably Twitter, for nearly 2,889 minutes, or two days and nine minutes, and the public is incredibly uneasy.
Chapel Hillian Jonathan Smith has purchased over 24 pounds of raw grain, along with three acres of land in Kentucky.
“Donald Trump going silent is more worrying to me than a North Korean missile test, because let’s be honest, they’re not doing anything,” said Smith. “Surely there must be something that Trump is doing that’s worth talking about!”
Nearly 400 million Twitter users have “@ed” Donald Trump asking about his silence, 70 million more than the amount of active users on Twitter. After the first 64 minutes of Trump’s silence, CNN had already released a statement.
“Mr. Trump has not cursed out any minorities, placed tariffs on China or fired an all-caps tweet in over an hour,” said chief political analyst of CNN Gloria Borger, coated in a thin sheen of sweat, her hands shaking ever so slightly as she maintained a wide smile. “We at CNN are watching the situation closely and will update everyone as soon as we can.”
The White House declined comment, as did the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.
The Dow Jones started rising at the 298-minute mark, but in the last 45 minutes, a strange phenomenon has been occuring. It has stopped declining and is a uniform, straight line. Same for NASDAQ, S&P and every other stock on the market.
“It’s almost like some chaotic energy has disappeared from the world, stabilizing the economy,” said top Wall Street analyst David Koning. “I mean, this is crazy, but nobody is losing or gaining money, so I guess it’s not that bad…?”
At the 751-minute mark, Fox News started a 24/7 livestream where Tucker Carlson and five other Fox reporters watch and analyze Trump’s (lack of) political moves. The rest of Fox News has not been benefiting from “The Silence.” Most notably, Rush Limbaugh has been run out of a job due to nobody wanting to debate with him. The livestream was shut down by benevolent hackers at the 987-minute mark.
Political news cycles seem to have disappeared completely. The main tactic that Joe Biden has been using has been utter silence as well as he tries to formulate the perfect response to Trump’s silence.
Eventually, “The Silence” completely lost its novelty. The Times Square billboard became covered by a running countdown of how long it had been since Trump tweeted, to the millisecond. Groups across the country gathered together in basements and bunkers, bracing themselves for some foreseen destruction. We urge everyone to remain calm during these trying times, and please stay safe.
Picture credits to Twitter.com, obviously altered by Shay Wisdom from The ECHO.
