Dear The ECHO,
I’ve asked this girl out, but I don’t know what to talk about on the date, please help.
From
Man who puts his whole mouth around the water fountain
Dear Man who puts his whole mouth around the water fountain,
The trick to not running out of things to say on a date is to talk about yourself. The thing you know the most about is yourself, so it should be easy to keep the conversation going. Once they’ve gotten to
know the basics, you can bring up the good stuff. Here at the ECHO we recommend politics, religion or your feelings about the police. Make sure to keep in mind that silence means awkwardness, and to
prevent awkwardness, rambling is the best option. Potentially also bring up all of your best achievements, money, and maybe even a few condescending jabs to keep them interested.
Dear The ECHO,
I feel like my boyfriend is taking me for granted and hasn’t been giving me the love that I deserve. need to find a way to get his attention back.
From,
Upper A Bathroom Goblin
Dear Upper A Bathroom Goblin,
We’ve all been in a situation similar to this and there is one solution, make him think you are cheating, maybe even cheat. Some people might say to talk about it with your partner , because communication is important, but that never works. What we here at the ECHO like to do is look on craigslist for out of work “actors” or pool boys. Your next move is to not so subtly have a fake affair with said pool boy or actor. This should make your boyfriend realize that you are the best thing that ever happened to him and he should give you more attention.
Dear The ECHO,
How do I make sure that my girlfriend is not cheating on me? She’s been spending a lot of time around this guy who I think is a pool boy/actor. I occasionally see her giving him money. How do I make sure
that she is not cheating on me?
From,
Lower A Bathroom Goblin
Dear Lower A Bathroom Goblin,
Many people here at the ECHO have been in a similar situation and we have just the plan for you. If you suspect that your girlfriend is spending time with this mysterious person who she pays to be around, just buy up all of that person’s time. Never leave them alone. Possibly even show up to their house uninvited. This should both stop your girlfriend from cheating on you and stimulate the local economy. You’re welcome.
Dear The ECHO,
I asked this girl out to get coffee on Saturday. She didn’t show up and I think she may have gotten confused about which Saturday I meant, so I’ve been going to that coffee shop every Saturday
for the past three weeks to check if she is going to show up. How should I spend my time waiting for her in the coffee shop?
From,
Coffee Man
Dear Coffee Man,
Give up.
