Last Monday, the usual dogpile of students in the hallways between the Cafe Commons and Quad C were in for a surprise, when the floors of both the upper and lower hallways collapsed, dumping all of the students into a man-made cave. Upon closer inspection from archaeologists, the cave has been revealed to be the ancient Labyrinth of Greek mythos.
“This is a genuinely historic find,” said archaeologist James Diggman. “The fact that the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur might have some truth in it is utterly fascinating.”
The Labyrinth has several defining features which have mystified historians. One of such is a large obelisk with several eyes carved into it, dubbed the Eduspire by Principal Jesse Casey. Another was an engraving in ancient Greek translating to “BEWARE THE PAUSES AND CONNECTS” seen on the walls of the entrance.
Due to the discovery, the school administration had sectioned off the entire quad C intersection for research of the Labyrinth, and has started incorporating it into normal school life already. Most notably, students will be able to take A.P. Spelunking next year, and get passes to visit the maze if needed.
“I definitely think this could be a positive event for East,” said Casey in an interview. “We could charge people money to explore it to boost funding and new classes could take place there for students. I’m even thinking about having the next prom take place down there; the possibilities are endless”
Yet with all the new and exciting options the maze provides, it also comes with some major downsides. Most students have found they can’t get an e-hallpass to the Labyrinth due to students using the maze to skip school.
“It’s infuriating,” said chemistry teacher Kami Chyle. “Half my students don’t show up to class anymore; they’re all just hanging out in the Labyrinth… somewhere.”
Unfortunately, the reporter we sent a week ago to interview this group of students hasn’t returned from the maze, most likely deciding to join them. Thanks, Helen.
Photo by Hammond Cole Sherouse/The ECHO
