Having nothing positive to say about literally anything, a group of East students have proudly proclaimed that they are mad about everything. The group has come together to form an unofficial club that meets at the lower Quad C bathroom every period. Their meetings usually consist of talking about school issues, sitting on the bathroom floor and vaping.
“Yeah, I’ll say it, I hate this school and everyone in it,” one member said. “I’m proud of how much I hate it. The awful new rules, the terrible people or just having to go to class; it doesn’t matter what it is, it all infuriates me.”
“My third period teacher lowered my grade to a 75 because I was late like 10 days in a row. It’s god#%&$ dystopian in this school,” another group member added. “Mr. Casey’s new policies suck, it’s legitimately impossible to expect me to get to class on time when I have to walk all the way to Quad A to talk to my friends.”
The group revealed that none of them have felt joy since 2015 and have yet to actually spend a full day at school. They have what seems to be an endless supply of topics to talk about, never running out of spite for the world.
“The new principal doesn’t do anything either, he just comes in, makes a bunch of new rules and yells at us for not going to class,” said another member, the others nodding in agreement. “He wastes all the budget on raising school morale with a new color that we don’t even want. Do you know how long it took us to get morale that low?”
Kim Nichol-Burne, a chemistry teacher who taught the group in the past, sang praises about the new club.
“World hunger could be ended and they would still find a way to complain about it!” Nichol-Burne said. “I’m so proud of them, they’re so ahead of the curve. It took me years to be as jaded and miserable as them. I’ve heard they’ve even started complaining about each other; it brings joy to my heart. To hear that they’ve started this group gives me so much hope for the future. They’ll be great lawyers someday.”
If you are looking to join this group, there are interest meetings every period. All you need to bring with you is a vape, $40 and a terrible attitude.
Photo by Hammond Cole Sherouse/The ECHO
